I spent most of the day yesterday proofreading K’s paper before he has to submit it. K’s 352 page paper. The 352 page paper for which I’ve lost my edits twice. I’m surprised none of you heard the screaming. I’ve stopped now (screaming, that is) but I needed a brief reprieve before I resumed my search for extraneous commas, awkward phrasing, etc. Did I mention that I’m a psych major with a nursing degree? I have no business proofreading this paper! But I digress.
Anyway, my sweet friend Gretchen had a fun little random question post on her blog yesterday and I thought it might be fun on this Casual Friday to play along. She asked and answered four random questions. I may only answer the first one because the others require me to either make a decision or choose a favorite and any of you who have been hanging around with me for any amount of time know how I feel about choosing favorites. Since I’m choosing the questions does that negate the randomness that was intended in the original post? Does it matter? Let’s just answer the questions, shall we?
1. Have you ever played on an organized sports team?
At this point my mom and Aunt D are probably snorting coffee out their noses. “That wouldn’t be very nice,” you may be thinking. “Surely they wouldn’t laugh! That would be so cruel.” Well, these are the women who used to quip, “Have a nice trip, Grace?” every time I stumbled even slightly, so yeah, they’re laughing. And truthfully, they have reason to be amused. Have I ever played on an organized sports team? Well, that depends. Would marching band be considered an organized sports team? No? Well, then no. I haven’t.
I was always that kid who was first kicked for the spelling bee, last picked for kickball at P.E.. I was that kid they sent to play outfield. Way outfield. So far outfield that I could actually play outfield for the team playing kickball on the field beside ours. Not that the other field’s team would let me. My friends and I soon realized that we wouldn’t be seeing much action in outer Mongolia, so we actually enjoyed playing defense best. We’d lie on our backs and talk about how that cloud under the sun looked like Snoopy lying on his doghouse. We’d tie knots in weeds and shoot the buds at each other. Well, they would. I never was very good at that. We’d make daisy chains. Well, they would. I was never very good at that. Sometimes, we’d move in a little closer to the infield to see if anything was actually happening on the red dirt part of the field that we weren’t supposed to be near. Sometimes as we edged closer we’d run into people who were playing for the other team. “What are you doing here?” we’d ask. “Your team went in to bat ten minutes ago,” they’d say in that way that makes you feel like you just got peeled off the bottom of someone’s shoe.
Yep. My team would try to go to bat (Or would you say “to foot” if you’re playing kickball?) without telling me. That was fine with me, but every now and then Coach Wilson would realize that I hadn’t actually been in close proximity to a ball in several months. He’d force my team to give me a chance at the plate. I can still recall that feeling of dread and horror as I waited for the person on the mound to roll that red kickball to me. No matter how I timed it, I never seemed to make contact with that ball. One day I somehow ended up standing precariously on top of the ball for a split second. Next thing I knew, the ball flew out from beneath my feet. I think I may have lost a few seconds from the time I was airborne to the time I landed with my head on home plate. I looked up and saw a sea of faces looking down at me. With concern? Empathy? Sympathy? No, it was more like apathy mingled with a little aftertaste of disgust.
When Coach Wilson decided to teach us how to play football in P.E., I was actually a little excited. Maybe this would be my sport! Maybe I would be like the girl in those movies who defeats the gender prejudice of her day to join the varsity team! I had already decided Lisa Whelchel would play me in my after-school special movie version. After watching my best moves for a good fifteen minutes, Coach called me to the sidelines and said, “Ables, why don’t we teach you how to keep score?” I quit looking for Lisa Whelchel’s home number. I hated P.E., loved indoor recess (Heads Up, 7-Up; Doggie, Doggie, Who’s Got the Bone?), and loathed field day. The only ribbons I ever got for field day were the participation ones. “Yay! You Showed Up Today” “Good for You! You Weren’t Absent!” Everyone had to sign up for at least one event. I did the Egg on a Spoon Relay (messy), Sack Race (still have the burlap burn scars), and the Three-Legged Race (Like I’m not clutzy enough on my own two legs, let’s throw someone else we can maim into the mix) were my “best” events over the years.
It’s not that I didn’t want to be an athlete. I just never seemed to find my niche. I thought maybe track would be my thing. You’re on a team, but you still get to do your own thing. Maybe that would work. Did you ever see this episode of Friends?
I’ll give you a hint. I’m not the Rachel in the above scenario.
So, I’m not an athlete, but I married one. K is one of those guys who is an expert at things the first time he ever tries them. You name it, he can play it. But he never makes fun of my Phoebe run or my general lack of athletic prowess. And I think because of him, I’ve tried things I probably wouldn’t have tried on my own, like scuba diving and sky diving. I may have even let my new friend Michele talk me into buying a pair of these. Who knows? I might be a runner after all!
2. What TV show are you loving right now and/or what shows have you been “addicted” to in the past?
I refuse to answer this question on the grounds it may incriminate me. I will tell you this, if you truly a hate a show and want it off the air, tell me to start watching it. That will kill it. Kill it dead. I used to LOVE “Eli Stone.” Dead. I think I’m the one responsible for killing “Ed.” Right now, I’m just hoping I don’t kill “Friday Night Lights” or “Life.”
3. A two-parter: (a) What is your favorite Beatles song? (b) Is there a song you’re loving right now?
So, Whimzie, which is your favorite child? I don’t do favorites. I start thinking of what might be my favorite Beatles song and then I see five more songs standing on the sidlines of my brain saying, “What about us? Don’t you like us? Pick us.” I can’t stand them looking all needy Meredith Grey, so I just can’t pick any of them. (“Blackbird,” “Hey, Jude,” “All You Need is Love,” “Don’t Let Me Down,” “Drive My Car,” “Get Back,” “Golden Slumbers,” “Good Day, Sunshine”—I told you I shouldn’t answer this question!)
Other song I’m enjoying right now? All of them. Every single song. I love them all. Which reminds me of another Beatles song that should be on my list: “In My Life.” “In my life, I loved them all.” Oh, and “Revolution.” And seriously, STOP. How about what I was listening to last night? Last night I was listening to the new album (even though it’s not an album; it’s not even a CD; it’s an iTunes download) by Gomez. I enjoy Gomez. And Dave Barnes. And why are we starting this again? Music is my anti-drug. I saw that on a poster in the T station one day.
4. Where would you fly away to, right now, if you could possibly do it?
“I don’t understand the question and I won’t respond to it.” That’s a quote from “Arrested Development,” by the way. Yet another show I caused to be cancelled. When I think of all the actors and production crew I’ve put out of work, I’m ashamed of myself.
Okay. I’m back to edit the paper. I need to finish because today’s supposed to be a beautiful day. We might see the upper 60s here in New England! If it’s really nice, I may go outside and work on my kickball moves. Happy Friday!