I don’t remember how I found HisGirlAmber’s blog. It was probably through Meredith. I can trace probably 85% or more of my friends who live in my computer back to a connection with her. If she ever starts charging me a finder’s fee, I’m in trouble. I think what I love most about Amber’s blog is that she gets right to the heart of the matter and finds God in the everyday minutes of life. I’ve left her blog encouraged, convicted, inspired…sometimes all of those at once! She doesn’t waste words. And she points back to Jesus every time. I love that she’s not cocky about her abilities but she’s confident enough to use her talents and passions to do great work for the kingdom.  The girl sat down and wrote a Bible study about the book of Daniel, people. Who does that? Besides Beth Moore?

So today was the big MIRL day. I was nervous. I’d like to think that by this point in my life I’m confident enough in my life to accept that not everyone’s going to get me and not everyone’s going to love me. And that maybe people can get along really well in the comments section of a blog and not have much to talk about when they’re sitting across a table from each other eating burgers (and cheesesticks) at a table at Fuddrucker. But I wanted them to like me. And I wanted it to be a fun day.

Did I mention they met me here at my house?  My house that was family clean but not company clean. Certainly not, please-judge-me-as-a-housekeeper-for-the-first-time-you-meet-me clean. But that’s my fault and another story for another day (or not). And Amber was bringing her best friend forever and her BFF’s friend. I felt like it would be okay, but I was sweating it a little.

They arrived a little early. For me, and this is really only my third MIRL, the initial hellos are the most awkward. But that lasted less than a couple of minutes and the rest of the day, as I said on Amber’s blog, was like picking up on a conversation with old friends that started a long time ago. I love those girls. Amber is the Amber I’ve already known all these months through our blogs. Sing4Joy Judi, her BFF, is the real deal and a great big walking heart. Ashleigh is an easygoing sweetheart who loves life and does a mean leprechaun leap. I haven’t weathered any storms with these girls. We don’t have a lot of history together. I don’t know every chapter and page of their stories (although they were very patient with my Barbara Walters interview questions). But those girls are my friends. More than that, they are my sisters.

I think MIRL is kind of a misnomer. This blog is real life to me. I’m not trying to go all Julie and Julia, but my friends who live in my computer are as true and real and dear to me as my friends who live outside it. I don’t expect everyone to understand that. I think those of you who read and comment on blogs regularly do.  I don’t think that I truly “know” every person who leaves a comment on this blog. But for many of us, the blog was just the starting point of our friendship. We have emailed, texted, called….and on special days, MIRLed. I wouldn’t trade a single friend with whom I’ve had the privilege of doing life with in the flesh. But I also wouldn’t trade the friends I’m doing life with in more untraditional ways. I am real here. I speak my mind here. Do I hold anything back? Of course I do. But I do that “in my real life,” too.

Today my computer life and “my real life” intersected for a few hours. My friends stepped out of my computer and into my world. We ate, laughed, frolicked (isn’t that the photographic direction you gave us, Judi?), letterboxed stealthily (another topic for another day…if you think you’re cool enough to handle it), and left very few stones unturned (literally and conversationally). Some time during the day, I couldn’t help but think about Heaven. One day, we are going to have the biggest MIRL party ever. We’ll MIRL with Jesus and then we’ll be together with the friends we’ve met and the ones we’ve never seen on this earth. As I sit here and replay moments from my day in my head, I get more and more excited about that day. And although I can’t find a Bible verse or a Randy Alcorn reference to prove it, I  think there might be letterboxing there. If you come unprepared, I’ll let you borrow my stamp!

Amber, Judi, Ashleigh, I love you girls and today will be a memory I’ll cherish. Thanks for taking the time to come and see me and share your lives with me. I feel honored and I hope we get to do it again this side of Heaven. Y’all come back now, you hear?

I was so geeked out I didn’t take a single picture! But Sing4Joy and HisGirlAmber posted one or two on their posts today. She Who Should Not Remain Blogless obviously didn’t post any pictures on her blog…because she doesn’t have one.  (sigh)

I’m not sure what it was about her movements that caught my attention. I  don’t remember what she was doing. I just remember that out of the corner of my eye, I saw my little girl’s sweet hands and they looked and moved like the hands of a girl much older than my daughter. I had to swallow hard over the lump in my throat. Somehow I must have blinked and now yet another part of my baby girl has been replaced with this self-assured little woman-to-be.

“I know why you bought me this shirt, Mama. You know how much I love chocolate. That’s what that heart means. ‘I heart chocolate’ means that I love it, right? I heart this shirt, Mama.”

And I heart you, little girl. I heart your sense of style. I heart that you rarely go anywhere without a journal and a pen or pencil so that you can write your songs and stories whenever the inspiration hits. I heart the hundreds of pictures that you draw every day and that can be found in every room of our house. I heart that you tell me about your day in so much detail that I feel like I was right there with you. I just heart you and I heart being your mom.

Then there’s this one.

He lost one of his front teeth about half an hour before we made it home from Alabama. He pulled it himself. When did he get old enough to pull his own tooth? The permanent tooth is already starting to peek out. I dread it. Those permanent front teeth always erase the last traces of baby.

I smile every time I think of the phone conversations I had with this one during our trip last week. He subscribes to the “less is more” method of communication. For example, here’s a portion of one our check-in sessions on the phone last week:

Me:  So how was school today?

B: Kinda good.

Me: Just “kinda”? What was kinda bad about it?

B: Three people were sick.

Me: Oh, no! That’s not good. What’s wrong with them?

B: (pause) They were sick.

Always the overflowing fount of information, that one. But I’m going to keep listening to whatever he’s saying whenever he’s saying it.

And how did this little curly-haired baby whose mama was his very best friend:

…grow so quickly into this goofy boy who has an army of friends and a nickname and probably even secrets that his mom doesn’t know:

He’s growing up way too fast. I’m nervous about what’s ahead for him. I’m trying desperately to keep our communication open and easy because I know that we’re fast approaching a time when he may not want to tell his mama the stuff he so readily tells me now.

Yesterday I got to spend some time with my friend’s little boy. He’s having his first birthday this month. As my friend was buckling him into his car seat and sending him off to spend the day with his fun Aunt Whimz , she remarked, “I know you all told me this would go by quickly, but I had no idea you meant it would be this fast!”

I just didn’t have the heart to tell her that not only does that first year go by fast, but in my experience, the time continues to go faster and faster. Sometimes I feel like I need to just sit down so I can catch my breath, but I’m afraid that while I’m resting, I’ll miss something else. So since they won’t slow down, I’ve decided I will. This poem was in every third baby shower card I received, but since I’ve decided that my Snoodles will always be my babies no matter how old they get, I think this poem still applies:

Mother, oh mother, come shake out your cloth!

Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,

Hang out the washing and butter the bread,

Sew on a button and make up a bed.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?

She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking!

Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue

(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

Dishes are waiting and bills are past due

(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).

The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew

And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo

But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.

Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?

(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

Oh, cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,

But children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.

So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep.

I’m rocking my baby. Babies don’t keep.

by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

(first appeared, Ladies Home Journal, October 1958)

I have a question for you. What do you consciously do to make sure you’re not letting these moments with your babies pass you by? You might have some insight or good ideas that could help the rest of us make the most of the short time we have.

That’s pretty much become a recurring theme in my life lately: “So much for my plans.”

Can I just lay my cards on the table? I might as well because the only card games I can really play are Uno, Old Maid, and Go Fish, so let me just show you my hand. Honest as I know how to be, I need to tell you that my life is not much like anything I thought it would be when I used to dream about my future. The big lesson of my 40s so far has been that life is hard.

Just to be clear, when I say life is hard, I don’t mean I’m bummed because Kohl’s doesn’t have any shoes my size in their clearance sale. I’m talking calculus hard.  Like uncertainties about the future. And more people who have had their lives turned upside down by stupid cancer. How about life-long relationships (plural) that without a miracle will never be restored? How about stuff that’s not fit to blog because it’s just way too painful and way too personal?

Yep, life is hard.  Please know I’m not trying to drum up sympathy, I’m truly not.  The fact of life is that it’s not just hard in my neighborhood. Everyone reading these words has a “hurt” story.  Everyone’s family is five minutes away from being on The Jerry Springer Show. That sounds funny but sadly, I really believe it to be truth. It may not be in your immediate family, but I’m guessing you wouldn’t have to get too far removed to find a story that would curl the hair of the members of your Sunday School class. (Don’t feel like you need to share your Springer story in the comments. My flat iron already has a full-time job.)

The cold fact is that if you aren’t hurting now, you will be. Jesus said that in this world we would have trouble but to not let that trouble trouble us because He has overcome this world. So He saw that all of this was coming. And He told us we can get through it because He’s already done it. He knows what it’s like to be us and He knows what it’s like when life is hard.  And knowing what we were going to be facing, he told us to be joyful. Not in a Pollyanna-”Isn’t life wonderful?!”-rainbows and lollipops kind of way…but in a down-deep to your core knowledge that life may not be okay, but your heart and soul is more than okay. It’s an understanding that this world is broken and none of us will make it without a Savior. It’s a secure hope that one day He will make all things new and we’ll live the life we were meant to live in eternity with Him forever and with the ones we love who know Him. Until that promised day, I intend to laugh myself silly every single chance I get even on days when I have to look really hard to find something that’s funny. I will love with all my heart even though my heart might get bruised or even broken because my relationships with my God and with other people are what make living here worth the effort. I will pay close attention to the details that make up an almost spring day because I know that as beautiful as some days can be, they’re only a poor copy of the home that is being created for me even now.

The book I’m supposed to be reviewing in this post didn’t surprise me with any super revelations or blow my mind with anything new, but Dancing with My Father by Sally Clarkson did remind me that in this life, some days more than others, I have to choose joy. It doesn’t just happen automatically. The book is full of personal stories from the author’s life and each chapter ends with questions that you could discuss with a book club or small group or use for your own devotional time for further exploration.

WaterBrook Multnomah graciously gave me a copy of Dancing with My Father to review and also sent me a copy of Mother-Daughter Duet by Cheri Fuller and Ali Plum. This book is about “getting to the relationship you want with your adult daughter.” My daughter is six years old and my mother and I have a strong, healthy relationship so this book didn’t have much for me. I will gladly pass it on to one of you to either keep for yourself or pass on to someone you think may want to read it. Your comment will serve as your entry and I’ll use a random number selector to choose a winner.

This may be the strangest book review I’ve ever done. I think I’m trying to find my writing rhythm again. I have lots of thoughts in my head that want to get out and I feel like they’re pushing and shoving and not coming out in a very orderly fashion. My apologies. I’d like to promise you that tomorrow will be different, but I think I’d better not make any more promises this week just in case “the plans change” as they are wont to do. But I do promise you this: If you leave a comment that says “My life is hard right now,” I will pray for you. Because I know what that feels like. But even better, I will tell my Father who knows exactly what that feels like and He can actually do something about your hard life. He may not make life easier, but He’ll get you through the next breath you need to take. I know He will because He’s doing it for me.

Life is hard. God is good.

P.S. I truly enjoyed reading about your favorite time of day. Such sweet minutes you described! And I imagined each one of them and was a little more cognizant of the parts of my day that are so very precious to me….as are you.

The sad truth is that I packed all of my reading material before I even opened a drawer to pack the first article of clothing. Priorities, people.  Needless to say, the only thing I accomplished by bringing the above stack on my trip was the upper arm weightlifting opportunities my overpacked bags afforded me. Even though it wasn’t really an opportunity to rest or recharge, it was a good week. That said, I’m very glad to be home. I was reminded last week of something I already knew: I’m a homebody. I like my little everyday world of trips to and from school and ballet lessons and grocery lists and recipes and laundry. It may not seem glamorous to most, but I think this life is a good fit for me.  (Someone may need to remind me about that on Thursday when I’m complaining that I don’t know what to fix for supper!)

Speaking of laundry, I have a suitcase full of clothes that need to be washed so I can’t stay as long as I’d like. I hope to be back later today with a quick book review that I was supposed to post last week. (I have a book to give away, if you’re interested!) I did want to pop in quickly to let you know I’ve missed our little chats. Since I was missing my everyday life last week, I’d like to know what your favorite part of your everyday routine is.  What’s your favorite part of your day?

“Nope. I probably won’t. So why don’t you go ahead and tell me.”

After B’s kindergarten teacher told me of his latest zinger, I decided to interrogate ask him about the incident on the way home from school.

“Mrs. D said you did a good job in reading today. What word did she ask you to read?”

“‘Mother.’”

“Did you get to use it in a sentence?”

(Pause)

“Yes.”

“Yes, MA’AM. Do you remember what your sentence was?”

(Knowing grin) “Yes, MA’AM.”

“Well, I’d love to hear it.”

“‘My mother screamed at me.’”

“Your mother screamed at you.”

“Yeah.”

“Yes, MA’AM.”

“Yes, MA’AM.”

“B. Does your mother scream at you?”

“No, but it makes a very funny sentence.”

(Sigh.)

Meanwhile, A told her class that she LOVES peanut butter and pina colada sandwiches. In fact, she said, her mother just loves pina colada. Her mom has pina colada almost every day. A told me she told her class that pina colada is one of our family’s very favorite things. What in the world did I put in her lunch box that day, you ask? A peanut butter and NUTELLA sandwich. Sometimes she confuses words. For the record and before you call CPS and just in case anyone from our incredible school is reading, this is the only pina colada I allow the children to drink:

I’m expecting a visit from a member or two of the school board just any day to discuss my tendency to get drunk on coconutty island beverages and yell at my kids. I’ll let you know how everything turns out.

I won’t be seeing you tomorrow, but I didn’t want to leave this week without being sure that you had heard about my big plans for Saturday night. I’m going to a concert! It’s at THE Ryman Auditorium in Nashville and just wait until you hear who’s going to be there: Jon Foreman (from Switchfoot), Alison Krauss and Union Station, Big Kenny, Mat Kearney, Jars of Clay, Brandon Heath, NEEDTOBREATHE, Dave Barnes (oh, how I love him!), and Matt Wertz. Want to come? You can! Want to know what I love about this concert, besides the incredible line-up? I get to wear my pajamas. I don’t even have to leave my house! It’s all happening online at www.helphaitilive.com.  All the ticket proceeds from the Nashville show are going towards Compassion International’s efforts to help Haiti. The nightly news may have moved on to other stories, but people in Haiti are still struggling to have their daily basic needs met. We can’t forget and move on to the next story.

UPDATE: I think I made it sound like I’m actually going to be at the concert in Nashville. I am not. I wish I were. But Compassion is broadcasting it live and I can watch it for free from the comforts of my own home! The concert starts at 7:30 p.m. CST and all you have to do is click over to www.helphaitilive.com and you can watch it with me…from the comforts of YOUR home.

In other news, I’ll be hopefully broadcasting live from Alabama next week. K and I have to attend a special training course in preparation for his upcoming job change this summer. I went to a junior version of this course a couple of years ago for one of his previous positions. They nicknamed that school “Charm School,” so I guess this is “Charm School 2.0.” I’m not sure the first course took anyway. (Ask my kids’ teachers if you doubt that.) From what I can ascertain, my schedule looks pretty full, but maybe I’ll have some time in the evenings to check in with my friends who live in my computer. Or maybe I’ll see you at the concert tomorrow night.  I’m sure our paths will cross somewhere along the way. Until then, have a peanut butter and pina colada sandwich in my honor….and while you’re at it, scream at a kid. (I am SO just joking!)

Thomas Nelson Publishers sent me a free copy of Tim McGraw’s (yes, that Tim McGraw!) and Tom Douglas’s latest book Love Your Heart. I know a six-year-old story lover who was gracious enough to allow me to interview her on her thoughts about the book.

In case you didn’t get all that Vanna our sweet reviewer said, this is a book about a little girl who is trying to decide what she should do for the upcoming talent show.  In the end, the girl chooses to make a sacrifice to help a friend and her father tells her that of all her many talents and abilities, he loves her heart most of all. It’s a sweet book with pretty pictures and a positive message. It isn’t the Velveteen Rabbit by a long stretch, but it’s a good book all the same. The forty-year-old reading the book struggled a little with the logic flow of the story, but the six-year-old who was more likely a member of the target reading audience than her mother didn’t seem to see the same problems. I guess this would be one of those instances where my husband would need to remind me, “It’s just a book/movie/TV show/Geico commercial. It’s supposed to be fun.” From that perspective, I enjoyed the satisfaction my daughter received from the book. I like that the book features a strong father who loves and is supportive of his daughter. My daughter is blessed to have a dad like that in her life and I like to find books that portray men as strong and loving.

For the record, when I said “boy friends,” the space between those two words was not emphasized as much as I would have liked. We have friends who are boys. We will not be having any “boyfriends” in this family for many, many years.

My thanks to my lovely book reviewer. And to the Coney Dog wearing his Cone of Shame.

For the next several Fridays, I’m taking a break from the computer.  Thanks, Becca, for the great idea and for the techni-cool button.

I’m not in the dumps. I’m not in a bad place at all. Just a little thinky, I guess. I just think somehow I’ve let life get away from me and I haven’t had taken time to just be still and think a thought all the way through to its completion. I need to take some time. Time to wrestle with some questions that keep surfacing in my thoughts. To look up some verses in the Bible and study them word by word. To be still and listen. To daydream. To do inventory. To set goals. To be still and think of nothing at all. To take all the time we need to deeply communicate heart stuff with a friend. To laugh so much and so loud and so hard that we forget why we started laughing in the first place. To cry the kind of cry that makes my heart and soul feel freshly washed and clean when I’m finished, like a deep, cleansing breath. To write down some of the thoughts that keep floating in my brain and that bump into other thoughts. To intercede in prayer for and with a friend. To have an uninterrupted conversation with my Father. To think about my earthly dad. To read wise things much wiser people have written.

Is it just me or do you ever feel like that, too? If or when you do, what do you do about it? Have you ever had a time like the one I’m describing?  If you’ve found a home for your thinky place, tell us how you did it. Do you plan regular times away? Do you have an agenda for those times or do you just let the time arrange itself? Do you get away by yourself or with others? How do you negotiate time away from your kids? Do you feel guilty for taking time-for-me retreats? Talk to me, friends.

I took pictures. Want to see?

Sometimes I fancy myself to be a real photographer. K gave me a fancy, new camera for Christmas. I planned to learn how to use it by reading the owner’s manual on the way to his family’s house for Christmas, but I packed the Spanish version of the manual instead of the English one. I took Spanish for Medical Professionals for one semester when I was in nursing school but I all I remember is how to say “Where does it hurt? (“[upside-down question mark] Donde le duele?”) and “Push!” (“Empuja!”) I also speak a little Dora (“Come on! Vamonos!”), but I’ve never seen an episode of Dora where she deals specifically with aperture settings. Hence, I only know how to use my fancy, new camera on the automatic setting.

Anyway, here are my artsy pictures of snowy trees:

The tire swing in our yard:

I was trying to do a “Narnia” thing here with the lampost. I didn’t realize the car was in the frame. That kind of ruins the effect for me:

I love it when trees come together like this to make a little tunnel of sorts:

I like to think that my little signs are part of the reason the snow decided to visit us. (Never mind that I put them out many a year with nary a flake to be seen all winter.):

My “home sweet home gnome.” He makes me smile:

Feeling artsy again:

Real live snow really falling down right here in Louisiana. I took a picture. It will last longer:

Find the cardinal:

My mom used to get irritated when we’d get our vacation pictures developed only to find that my dad had taken six rolls of film with nothing but birds and trees on them. I wonder if Ansel Adams’s wife gave him the same kind of grief. I did take pictures of people. Here are a few:

He owns a coat and yet he doesn’t always wear it:

His brother, on the other hand, is ready for some black diamonds. Ski googles are a must:

Always camera ready:

One of the obligatory snow angels:

Grammy takes Colonel out for a romp in the snow:

The obligatory snow person. We thought it was a snowman but look at those eyelashes!:

Mugging with the snowperson:

You know what I like about snow days? I mean besides the…snow? I like that we take the time to notice the stuff we miss when our schedules are full and our days are “normal.” I don’t usually take the time to look at trees. I don’t always take the time to make our hot chocolate more special by adding whipped cream and peppermint syrup. I go from Task A to Task B and sometimes I don’t fully look and listen to the people around me. But on snow days, I slow down and enjoy life one minute at a time. We play and laugh and rest. I think I’m going to schedule more snow days….whether the snow comes or not.

My friend HisGirl Amber (who I am going to see LIVE AND IN PERSON NEXT MONTH!!!!) posted a review this weekend of a brand new DVD from Phil Vischer called What’s in the Bible?  I’m reviewing the DVD for Tyndale House and they assigned me the week of March 15 to post my blog. WHY DO I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL MARCH FOR ALL THE FUN STUFF TO HAPPEN???

I’ll do as I was asked because I tend to be a rule follower (most of the time), but you really need to go read Amber’s post and then I’ll tell you what I thought next month. SPOILER ALERT: I LOVED IT!!! However, I’m biased because I’m a big fan of Mr. Vischer’s. So I’ll be including reviews from my children, who aren’t afraid to not like anything. Just ask my meatloaf.  ANOTHER SPOILER ALERT: THEY LOVED IT!!! Come back in March to read my review. I’ll also be giving away a gift certificate for each of the two DVDs that will be available on March 1st at your local Christian bookstore. You won’t want to wait until I get to post my review to buy a copy. Go ahead and buy a copy for your house and then maybe you’ll win a certificate for one to give to a friend.

Go to www.whatsinthebible.com to join the What’s in the Bible newsletter, subscribe to their blog (an excerpt from HisGirl’s post is on there!), and watch videos. But first go read HisGirl Amber’s review. Now!