First and Probably Final

My family is discussing and praying about decisions that my dad has to make as a result of his appointment with the neurosurgeon yesterday. It wouldn’t be appropriate for me to say anything else just now and honestly, I need to not talk about it here today. Sometimes I come here to think through things. Sometimes I come here to get away from things for just a little while.

So….

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I get most of my news from the radio in my car. Until the Disney Channel offers a news ticker at the bottom of the screen, I’m dependent on whatever I hear when we’re in our home-away-from-home aka the minivan, Sprocket the Rocket. (Every car I’ve ever driven has been named Sprocket. It’s one of my very favorite words. Don’t judge me. Judge George Foreman and all his Georges.) My kids aren’t allowed to watch the news on TV due to the graphic content and the glut of ED commercials that seem to be shown during that time. We’re sticking to basic phonics and multiplication facts at this stage.

So, as I was saying, most of my news comes from the radio and most of the time we’re listening to a certain positive and encouraging radio station so if anything really negative or discouraging happens in the world that you think I should know, please call or shoot me an email or Tweet because I probably haven’t heard it.

Yesterday on the way to school I heard a news story about a first date that went terribly wrong. Some girl in Detroit went on a date to Buffalo Wild Wings with some guy she’d met the week before in a casino and knew only by his first name. When it came time to pay the bill, her date said he had left his wallet in the car and asked for her keys because apparently she had driven. He never came back. And he took her car. I’m fairly certain someone could write a successful country music song about this little story. “Our Love  Flew About as Far as a Boneless Wing But You Flew Away in My Impala,” or “The Caribbean Jerk Sauce Wasn’t the Biggest Jerk in the Room,” or “The Salt from My Tears Turned the Smiley Potatoes Smiles Upside Down.” I’ve never actually written a country song, in case you were wondering.

After I heard the news story I started wondering what I would consider to be my worst first date story.  I remember one first date that I had with a guy who wasn’t raised in the South. I mean no offense to any of my friends who are not Southerners and I know for a fact and have met gentlemen from areas outside the South who knew more about charm, manners, and the proper treating of a lady than many Southern gents. The only reason I even draw attention to the fact that this guy wasn’t from below the Mason Dixon line is because that’s the excuse he used for any behavior that was less than gentlemanly. The first time he said it on our date was while I was working for ice to put on my nose….the nose that slammed into the door he walked through and allowed to shut in my face. Now I wouldn’t consider myself high maintenance, but you have to understand that I was out of practice with rude. This was during the summer of  my college years and I attended a small Southern school where guys opened every door for the girls. During dinner he talked about how much money he made and how important he was and how stupid people who live in my state are. Apparently he was saving all that money for something very important because he also asked me if I wanted to go halfsies on the dinner bill. He was truly a gem. I’m not sure how I let him slip away.

Less you think the South is tacky-free, I should in fairness tell you about the first date I had after we moved to Louisiana. My date drove me to a little town about forty-five minutes away to look at the big Christmas light display that is one of the town’s proudest events. Except the actual lights weren’t turned on until the weekend after our date. My date didn’t want to fight the crowds that accompany the big lighting event so he just took me around town and described to me what everything would look like once it was fully decorated and electrified. He didn’t even use creative adjectives in his descriptions. When we got to the restaurant he told me that he didn’t have much money with him and asked if I’d planned on ordering something big. I tried to be gracious and told him that I really wasn’t that hungry and thought I would just order a side salad and a glass of water. He proceeded to order the seafood platter which I noticed was the most expensive item on the menu. We didn’t have another date after that one.

One night my friend Stacey and I went on a double date with a couple of guys. The date was so extremely horrible that we both went to the bathroom in the middle of the meal and started crying and trying to figure out how we could leave the restaurant without the guys knowing. We didn’t sneak out because they knew where we lived, but that seemed like the longest night of our lives.

What about you? Do you have any fun first date stories? Save your “not first date but tragic all the same” stories for later because I have some good ones to tell, too. Let’s hear it. What’s the worst first date you ever had? Did any of you give the poor guys a do-over?

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13 Comments

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13 responses to “First and Probably Final

  1. It was my first date with D. I was 16. I had dated a guy (T) for a couple months before that. D asked me where I wanted to eat before the movie. I said anywhere but Rax (which was where T worked). D thought I said I wanted to eat at Rax, so we did. I didn’t have the courage to explain why this would be a bad idea. T was working, glared at us from his sandwich-assembling post. We sat down to eat, D took a bite of his chicken sandwich. There was no chicken in it. Nice.

  2. Am I first??? Ok, worst date ever…A guy told me he was taking me to the movies and dinner (this was one of my first actual dates, so I was pretty excited). Instead, he parked the car behind the mall and reach over to kiss me. I said, “What are you doing? I thought we were seeing a movie.” He said no he had other things in mind. I told him to take me home. It was about a 30 minute date. I told my big brother who proceeded to kick his butt on the football field the next fall (I don’t say butt nor do my kids, but it must be said here.) The other worst was the blind date talked about himself all evening then told me he was such a good singer he could sing for our food. Both these gents want to be my Facebook friend. Nah. Don’t think so. Thanks for the fun topic. Praying for you.

  3. Snort.

    I love good stories.

    And am so sad that my first date stories aren’t interesting. But I have plenty of after-we-were-dating date stories. But, I’ll wait.

    Because you told me to.

  4. I didn’t date much, so I don’t have too many stories. However, I do have to say that on our frist date, hubby drove the wrong way down a one way street. Not only was it a one way street, but it was the highway exit ramp. I thought we were going to die! I told my parents later (after we were married) that I guess I saw my life flash before me and he was part of it, so I went out with him again. :)

  5. John got a ticket on the way back from Hot Springs on our FIRST DATE! Still makes me laugh–he was so embarrassed. I tease him that he was so infatuated with ME that he forgot to pay attention to his speed.

    The worst EVER was the date my mother made me go on with her friend’s son. He took me for ice cream (and of course I ran into every friend I knew–all of which were snickering and asking if I was on a *date*) and then we went to his house so he could show me his organ. His PIPE organ. It was thrilling, let me tell you.

  6. I’m sitting her stumped trying to remember if I ever had a date before I was married. I know I did, but I think it was so long ago that I just can’t remember….or blacked that period out of my memory(that would have been the late 80’s). I got married in 1990….and I don’t even think G and I went on a date, we just started “hangin'” ….I think. It’s all blurry. I’ll stop babbling now!

  7. carpoolqueen

    Meredith made me giggle.

    I think you know all my stories, but did I tell you about the guy that showed up two hours late for our first date (he did bring roses, but I thought 2 dozen was a little overkill for a first date).

    We had missed the movie we were going to see, so we had to settle for the midnight movie and when we got out at 2 a.m. I thought I was going to die from lack of sleep and he said “Let’s go to the diner for a cup of coffee” and I said “Okay” to be polite, yet yawned as well to give him a hint.

    I ordered coffee.

    He ordered appetizer, dinner, and dessert.

    I dragged home at 4 in the morning.

    We never went out again.

  8. I’ve never dated anyone but my husband. So I’ve only got ONE first date story . . . and it’s not even really interesting, except we went to play mini-golf (dont judge, I was in high school!) and I totally kicked Adam’s booty . . . I got like 3 holes in one. He ALWAYS says “remember how I let you win?” but we all know that’s not true :-)

    ps – thanks for the laugh – your stories totally cracked me up!!

    pps – still praying for you!

  9. Deena

    My worst first/last date was with a guy who took me out to eat and to see “While You Were Sleeping” – the cute Sandra Bullock movie.

    About half way through the movie (that he selected and bought the tickets for us to see) he said, “Oh…this must be that movie While You Were Sleeping.”

    Seriously???? Did he really not even know which movie he had taken me to see?

  10. Mer, I think that person was in our wedding…

    Not confessing to any date blunders on here, just not doing it…

  11. I hesitantly agreed to go to the JV sports banquet with a guy that was a grade younger.
    When he showed up in the luxury van, with his mother driving I knew I had made a mistake.

  12. my only horrid first ‘date’ story involves a boy who tricked me into going out with him. He organized a group skating trip, then came and picked me up, casually mentioning we were the only two going. Took me to KFC, told me that he could only afford to pay for my dinner or skating. I let him know we were NOT ON A DATE so I would handle it. He was very sad, but kept it up.

    By the time he tried to accost my hand for the couple’s skate time, (cue the dim lights and disco ball) I had to tell him to just take me home…

    in his orange PINTO.

    yah, that was the last time that happened.

  13. Well I never actually had a first date so I dont have a story. But these stories make me feel like I never really missed anything.

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